Are empathy, sympathy and humanity bad now? That’s what I hear from some thought leaders and government officials who say we can’t afford to be so soft anymore. I couldn’t disagree more, and I urge my fellow marketers not to abandon these values.
The COVID-19 pandemic showed us how important they are. With the turmoil we’re experiencing every day, I believe it’s more important than ever to exercise these human traits.
When you ignore them, you also take away one of email’s superpowers: building one-to-one connections in that most personal of spaces — the email inbox. We must show our customers we know them and understand their needs and aspirations.
The most obvious point of connection comes in the email message itself, but that’s not the only place we can show our customers some care and consideration.
This article will be a little different from my usual, and I hope you’ll play along. I usually come to you with fully formed advice or commentary on the email issues we marketers face. Today, I’m workshopping an idea that came to me as I traced the digital trails my father and uncle left behind after they passed away within weeks of each other last summer.
What mass unsubscribing taught me
As part of my duties as an executor for both estates, I had to clean out their email inboxes to make sorting through the clutter easier. I could have done what most civilians do — mass-delete all messages and shut down the accounts.
I didn’t do that because I needed to find and process bills and either close or switch over accounts, so I combed through each inbox and unsubscribed from every email list I could find.
The SEO toolkit you know, plus the AI visibility data you need.
During that process, I encountered dozens of unsubscribe flows. Some worked. A surprising number didn’t, especially those for big-name brands. I encountered way too many 404 pages. By the end of my work, I could understand why some frustrated subscribers don’t even bother unsubscribing.
(Note: Before you read any further, test your own unsubscribe process to make sure it works. It’s the law, and you owe it to your subscribers and to the integrity and safety of your email program to be sure this essential automation is working as it should.)
I also learned that most brands don’t seem to care why I was unsubscribing. It was just me clicking the unsubscribe button, maybe confirming the request on the website and then, boom. I was gone.
That’s such a waste. We can learn a lot from our unsubscribers. These are the people who care enough to opt out rather than hit the “report spam” button. They don’t let emails pile up and then delete them without reading.
We are ignoring critical information. What broke the relationship?
Some companies gave me the standard checklist of unsubscribe reasons (none included a “death” version). If a brand offered an open-ended “Other” option, I tested it by writing “This person is deceased” or “The subscriber passed away.”
To date, no brands have responded to those messages. Maybe nobody’s monitoring that box, or they don’t register that someone unsubscribed for that reason.
That leads me to this question: Should we do more to recognize when someone closes an account or unsubscribes because the account holder has died?
Looking for your comments and questions
I haven’t concluded anything yet. That’s why I’m throwing the following questions out to you in the broader email world:
- Should we build an automated response to a comment like that with a sympathy email?
- Is that something we can scale?
- What would the value be for our brand?
- Is it just the right thing to do?
- We’ve been talking about brands and the imperative to become more humane and empathetic in our customer relations. Is this one of the solutions?
I’ll start the discussion here. Feel free to let me know what you think on social media.
Email marketing has always implied a relationship between the brand and the subscriber. Yes, it’s a commercial relationship. But many companies that show growth and a great return on investment don’t treat email as just another ad, circular or commercial. They demonstrate the values I mentioned above: empathy, sympathy and humanity.
Does it make sense?
Disagree? How are those birthday emails performing?
Email builds relationships because it reaches customers in the inbox. I get those messages in the same inbox where I receive my personal correspondence, bills, alerts and updates on my high school reunion.
From a brand perspective, acknowledging customer life changes makes sense because it recognizes that unsubscribers have upheld their end of the value proposition — opting out instead of abandoning their email addresses or hitting “report spam.”
For brands, there’s something to be gained by taking a second to say, “We’re sorry for your loss. We’ll ensure that you’re unsubscribed and won’t get any more emails from us.” That reassurance, had I gotten it even once, would have been nice.
Now, what’s the value to the brand? It’s extending your sympathy to somebody else. But could it also affect acquisition?
Here’s why I’m asking that: My dad was an avid golfer. He and I played together regularly. In my quest to unsubscribe, I discovered new golf sites. Now I subscribe to them. (Thanks, Dad!)
No, I’m not suggesting that this become a KPI. Only that sympathy can have a carry-on effect that’s not altogether bad.
A “We’re sorry” email could be an acquisition tactic. But it’s more valuable as a human instinct to say you’re sorry and express sympathy. Maybe you won’t pick up many new subscribers this way. But if you did, they could be valuable.
Who’s doing it now?
I don’t have any examples of brands responding to unsubscribes on behalf of email subscribers, but here are two brands that understand a similar assignment. Is it a coincidence that they’re both pet-related?
Chewy comes to mind first. The ecommerce pet supply brand has earned virtual millions in word-of-mouth exposure for its customer service and appreciation. The way it responds to customers whose pets have died has become legendary in the ecommerce world.
Among the actions customers have reported on social media, Chewy has sent sympathy flowers and handwritten cards to customers who cancel their Autoship subscriptions or contact the brand about returning supplies after their pets die. The brand has also issued refunds and encouraged customers to donate unused food and other supplies to local animal shelters.
The company could have said, “Sure, send it back. Here’s a prepaid label. Sorry for your loss.” But they know their demographic and the benefits of being sympathetic and humane.
Petplan is a U.K. pet insurance brand that has mastered the art of humane copywriting. Its messages recognize how a pet owner might be feeling when filing a claim. They are models for business communications that infuse practical information with genuine understanding.
Here’s an email sent to a customer who had filed a claim after her pet died:
- “We were sad to hear that Maisie has passed away. We know that this must be a difficult time for you and we’d really like to help if we can.
- “If you need to talk to someone who understands your loss, we’ve found that the Blue Cross Bereavement Service can help — so please do give them a call on [XXXX-XXX-XXXX]. Sometimes, just being listened to can make a big difference.
- “We wanted to let you know that you’ll soon receive a refund of £97.63 due to changes to your policy XXXXXXX.
- “We’ve sent the payment to your bank account ending XXXX, which will reach you within the next three working days.
- “If you have any questions, you can always talk to our dedicated Customer Service Team by using our webchat or by calling XXXXXXXX. They’ll be more than happy to help.”
You use the data you have, like the pet’s name, to personalize the message and then write the message as if it were a note to a friend. Just that one extra data field made all the difference.
Yes, both of these emails are sent to paying customers, not just to email customers who might or might not have purchased during their cycle with your brand. But they show what’s possible with a little extra thought.
These expressions of humanity make the difference, especially when they are unexpected.
How could we make this happen?
Maybe this is an edge case. Maybe people delete the emails every day and move on. If they don’t give a reason for unsubscribing, we can’t reach out, and that’s fine. But what about when consumers offer that information? Isn’t it our responsibility to acknowledge it?
It’s easy to lose our sense of humanity in digital marketing, where we might never come face-to-face with any of our customers. During COVID-19, we learned about the value of authenticity, humanity and empathy. Can we apply what we learned to a personal crisis?
As I write this, I’m starting to think that brands should consider taking some action, offering an acknowledgement, or providing reassurance in this specific situation.
Now, how could we make this happen? Let’s look at reply-to handling. It might be possible if someone adds a reason in a reply to your message. Your ESP should be able to detect keywords like “died,” “deceased,” “passed away” or “passed on.” Unless you use “no-reply,” in which case you can go right to email jail.
Ask your ESP if you can capture those words in your reply handling and automate a message from that capture.
The unsubscribe moment is a human moment
True, the person just unsubscribed, so emailing them again is generally off-limits. But at least in the U.S., CAN-SPAM gives you seven days to process the unsubscribe, so your one acknowledgement would be covered under that timeline. You’re not selling anything or asking them for an action.
Let’s talk about tapping into our humanity as marketers and as people and see if we can be more human to our subscribers instead of just making a buck off them.
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